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I Can't Remember If I Cried

Rock Widows on Life, Love, and Legacy

Lori Tucker-Sullivan

Named one of Library Journal's Best Nonfiction of 2024

The stories of rock musicians who die young are the thing of lore and legend. Accidents, drug overdoses, plane crashes—all have taken the lives of male rock stars still in their primes. But what became of their widowed brides? How did they survive a loss so great? What is it like to have to share your grief with millions of strangers? And where are these widows today?

I Can’t Remember if I Cried is part music history, part memoir, based around interviews with rock widows conducted by Lori Tucker-Sullivan—who herself lost her husband in 2010. With each widow that Lori interviews, she learns lessons in love, forgiveness, coping, and moving on. The book is framed by the author’s own narrative to create a single thread that links the stories together to ultimately create a tale of how the author’s life is changed through her interactions with these amazing women.

Among the women profiled by Tucker-Sullivan:

  • Judy VanZant who, after losing husband Ronnie of Lynyrd Skynyrd, sued the re-formed band in order to protect her interests.
  • Sandy Chapin, widow of Harry Chapin, who has worked tirelessly to uphold Harry’s significant legacy around activism and hunger prevention.
  • Crystal Zevon, the ex-wife of Warren Zevon, who provides details of her abusive relationship with Warren and how she resolved her anger and grief.
  • Jamie Weiland, widow of Stone Temple Pilots’ Scott Weiland, speaking openly of Scott’s mental health, which at times kept him housebound for days.
  • Janna Leblanc, widow of Stevie Ray Vaughan, who shares the details of her visits with Stevie in rehab.
  • Details
  • Details
  • Author
  • Author
  • Reviews
  • Reviews
  • Awards
  • Awards
Rowman & Littlefield Publishers / Backbeat
Pages: 256 • Trim: 6¼ x 9¼
978-1-4930-8414-2 • Hardback • June 2024 • $34.95 • (£30.00) - Currently out of stock. Copies will arrive soon.
Subjects: Music / History & Criticism

Lori Tucker-Sullivan is a freelance writer and editor whose work has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, Modern Loss, and Passages North. Her essays “Detroit, 2015” and “Time, Touch, and a Whale’s Grief” were both nominated for a Pushcart Prize and listed as a Notable Essays in the Best American Essays series. Since her husband’s death, Lori has written of the widowhood experience at the blog The Widow’s Apprenticeship. She is also a former bookselling professional who until recently served as Executive Director of the Independent Booksellers Consortium, Inc. She lives in Detroit, MI.

A wide range of readers and book clubs will appreciate this moving, healing, and absorbing memoir/music history.


— Library Journal


Beyond providing poignant, behind-the-scenes insights into the lives of famous musicians and the women who loved them, I Can't Remember If I Cried serves as a survival guide for anyone dealing with loss and grief.


— Jas Obrecht, Talking Guitar


I Can’t Remember If I Cried is a tear-jerker and a powerful exploration of rock widows’ lives, loves, and legacies. The author provides a compassionate and insightful look into these women’s multifaceted challenges, balancing personal grief with public expectations and the ongoing battles over their husbands’ legacies. It’s a compelling read for fans of the musicians, those interested in the human side of the rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle, and anyone who has experienced the profound loss of a loved one. Through their stories, these widows reveal their strength, resilience, and the enduring bonds that connect them to their husbands, even after death.”


— Popmatters


• Winner, Best Nonfiction (Library Journal , 2024)

I Can't Remember If I Cried

Rock Widows on Life, Love, and Legacy

Cover Image
Hardback
Summary
Summary
  • Named one of Library Journal's Best Nonfiction of 2024

    The stories of rock musicians who die young are the thing of lore and legend. Accidents, drug overdoses, plane crashes—all have taken the lives of male rock stars still in their primes. But what became of their widowed brides? How did they survive a loss so great? What is it like to have to share your grief with millions of strangers? And where are these widows today?

    I Can’t Remember if I Cried is part music history, part memoir, based around interviews with rock widows conducted by Lori Tucker-Sullivan—who herself lost her husband in 2010. With each widow that Lori interviews, she learns lessons in love, forgiveness, coping, and moving on. The book is framed by the author’s own narrative to create a single thread that links the stories together to ultimately create a tale of how the author’s life is changed through her interactions with these amazing women.

    Among the women profiled by Tucker-Sullivan:

    • Judy VanZant who, after losing husband Ronnie of Lynyrd Skynyrd, sued the re-formed band in order to protect her interests.
    • Sandy Chapin, widow of Harry Chapin, who has worked tirelessly to uphold Harry’s significant legacy around activism and hunger prevention.
    • Crystal Zevon, the ex-wife of Warren Zevon, who provides details of her abusive relationship with Warren and how she resolved her anger and grief.
    • Jamie Weiland, widow of Stone Temple Pilots’ Scott Weiland, speaking openly of Scott’s mental health, which at times kept him housebound for days.
    • Janna Leblanc, widow of Stevie Ray Vaughan, who shares the details of her visits with Stevie in rehab.
Details
Details
  • Rowman & Littlefield Publishers / Backbeat
    Pages: 256 • Trim: 6¼ x 9¼
    978-1-4930-8414-2 • Hardback • June 2024 • $34.95 • (£30.00) - Currently out of stock. Copies will arrive soon.
    Subjects: Music / History & Criticism
Author
Author
  • Lori Tucker-Sullivan is a freelance writer and editor whose work has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, Modern Loss, and Passages North. Her essays “Detroit, 2015” and “Time, Touch, and a Whale’s Grief” were both nominated for a Pushcart Prize and listed as a Notable Essays in the Best American Essays series. Since her husband’s death, Lori has written of the widowhood experience at the blog The Widow’s Apprenticeship. She is also a former bookselling professional who until recently served as Executive Director of the Independent Booksellers Consortium, Inc. She lives in Detroit, MI.

Reviews
Reviews
  • A wide range of readers and book clubs will appreciate this moving, healing, and absorbing memoir/music history.


    — Library Journal


    Beyond providing poignant, behind-the-scenes insights into the lives of famous musicians and the women who loved them, I Can't Remember If I Cried serves as a survival guide for anyone dealing with loss and grief.


    — Jas Obrecht, Talking Guitar


    I Can’t Remember If I Cried is a tear-jerker and a powerful exploration of rock widows’ lives, loves, and legacies. The author provides a compassionate and insightful look into these women’s multifaceted challenges, balancing personal grief with public expectations and the ongoing battles over their husbands’ legacies. It’s a compelling read for fans of the musicians, those interested in the human side of the rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle, and anyone who has experienced the profound loss of a loved one. Through their stories, these widows reveal their strength, resilience, and the enduring bonds that connect them to their husbands, even after death.”


    — Popmatters


Awards
Awards
  • • Winner, Best Nonfiction (Library Journal , 2024)

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